


Fury's Janitor

by mrs_d



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Character Analysis, Gen, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Snippet, Soldier without a war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-10 17:32:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5594881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_d/pseuds/mrs_d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not a sense of duty. It’s something to do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fury's Janitor

Steve thinks about it sometimes. When he gets home, usually, if his little apartment can be called home. When he carries his tac gear up the stairs in an inconspicuous duffle bag, even though all his neighbors already know who is, because the shield is kind hard to hide. When he puts a record on the stereo — Natasha bought him CDs of newer music, but he doesn’t play them when he gets home from missions. No, those nights he wants something familiar, smoky and scratchy like the air of an English pub in 1944. With a glass of scotch that won’t get him drunk and the voices of singers long dead all around him, he thinks about it.

He doesn’t think about it when he’s out with the team. He doesn’t have to, not when he’s slamming his shield, commandeering weapons, engaging in hand-to-hand. They all deserve it; they’re all enemies, and they have to answer to him now. Sometimes, the enemy will beg for mercy, and Steve will give it. Sometimes, he won’t.

Those are the nights he thinks about it.

He thinks about how he doesn’t think about it. The adrenaline shaking his hands. The thrill of combat that makes him soar from one fight to the next. The sense of duty, of serving, that gives him purpose. The war he’s fighting.

But it’s not adrenaline. It’s rage.

It’s not the thrill of combat. It’s glorying in others’ pain.

It’s not a sense of duty. It’s something to do.

It’s not war.

This is what he thinks about.


End file.
